Abuja is Nigeria’s nearly purpose built capital city. The spot chosen because it is pretty much in the middle of the country and will promote unity among all the different groups in Nigeria. Abuja looks like a typical European city with city blocks, freeways, big government and corporate buildings, and huge five star hotel complexes. First impression is really that you left Africa and was transported straight back to Europe. Even the cheap Chinese bikes are gone, all the cars look relatively new and there are tons off big American type vehicles. Coming out of the back country it was really hard to get my head around this. How do people afford this when an hour away it is phenomenally poor?
(Lonely planet says the Nigerian Government ‘lost’ more than 350 BILLION dollars of oil money in the last 40 years, this is four times the amount of foreign aid flowing into the whole of Africa during the same period. It looks like Abuja is the place to find the money.)
Thanks to all this development, accommodation in Abuja is easily the most expensive so far, with the budget options in our guide books running at $50 a night. OUCH. Luckily for us the Sheraton has opened their doors to overlanders. According to the internet forums they should allow us to camp in the back yard off the hotel. For dirt cheap. Unbelievable, and initially we where very sceptical about this, but at the same time we where shattered to bits. We didn’t have the energy to go looking for other options so we headed straight for the Sheraton. To our big relief the gate staff knew all about the camping and let us straight in. This is just what we needed, quick access to a hot shower and a decent meal. While waiting in the parking lot to be shown where to camp our luck suddenly ran out…
Two big guys with big guns approached us asking what we where doing there. They looked like some private security firm and we didn’t give them to much notice, but knowing the warnings about Nigeria, we did try and politely explain that we are camping at the Sheraton. One off the guys looked a bit trigger happy and didn’t quite buy the story, he wanted one of the managers to confirm that they allow campers. The staff send for the manager and in the five minutes it took for him to come all things went downhill significantly. He thoroughly convinced himself that we where up to no good and wanted to take us in for questioning. Questioning where? By the time the manager arrived he was so worked up that even the manager struggled to convince him that we where legit. The manager was keen to show us where to camp but the dude wanted us to come with him straight away. It took some time but we convinced him to allow us to park our bikes at the camping spot and then we would happily go with him, there wasn’t a chance we would leave the bikes unsecured and unattended. At this stage we still thought it was some hotel security outfit, and it wouldn’t take more than 5 minutes. This dude was so worked up that he didn’t even want us to start our bikes to drive them to the camping. He wanted us to push them. Obviously he had no idea how heavy these bikes where and how shattered we where. Another five minutes of talking and numerous orders and counter orders and we where allowed to slowly ride our bikes to the back of the hotel to be shown our camping spot. These guys where definitely unprofessional enough to fit the bill of a local hotel security outfit, but on the other side they where way to aggressive and the manager had zero authority over them.
Our convoy must have been quite a sight for the other Sheraton guests. Three dirty big bikes and even dirtier riders, with a manager ( smiling from ear to ear, and happy to have us) showing us where to go. Flanking us two sourly heavily armed guards and behind us their vehicle. These guys where acting like they where escorting VERY dangerous criminals. To a camping spot! All I could think was WTF?
Our camping spot was nothing more than a dumpy patch off grass far around the back of the hotel, clearly out of sight off any important people, but it was ours and we where happy. We where very keen to unpack and clean up, but the guard was quite persistent that we had to go with him immediately. We had no choice but to oblige. No reason to fight with an assault rifle. We would much rather oblige some idiots power trip than cause trouble. We had to unload everything from the bikes and put it in the back of their truck. AAGGHH!! It wasn’t until we left the hotel grounds with our friendly guards that we realised this isn’t some local hotel security outfit. SHIT. We had no idea where they were taking us. All I could think was ‘Thank God we are three and I’m not alone.’
Our dodgy hotel security outfit turned out to be the Nigerian State Security Services, and they where at the hotel to protect some special VIP’s. Because we looked so alien compared the rest off the hotel guests, all alarm bells went off and we where seen as a threat. They took us straight to their main offices, a huge complex completely walled off from the outside world. We should have been a lot more worried, but we where so tired and they where so unprofessional. No one knew what to do with us, or where we should go, or who was going to question us and everyone’s orders where different. This was a really big test of patience, but again guns where at the ready and we couldn’t do more than mumble our disagreement. While waiting to be questioned we spoke to some secretaries telling our stories and where we came from and how we travelled to Nigeria. You could see that it dawned on the sourly guard that he made a mistake, but it was to late. We where in shark territory, and it was lunch time.
Our questioning session was a disaster. We where under a new guy and he found it even harder to believe we where traveling through Africa by choice. And impossible to comprehend that the Sheraton would allow campers. Our biggest frustration was that he never gave us sufficient time to answer any questions. He was definitely trying to rush through things, but at the same time his inability to listen made it impossible for him to understand what we where doing and why we where at the Sheraton. Half way through an answer he’d leave for 10 minutes to discuss things with his colleagues and then come back with new questions which clearly showed he missed our first answer. Frustration, frustration, frustration. When he found out we stayed in a village he nearly lost it. He gave us a long speech about safety in Nigeria, clearly he had no idea how safe and welcoming we where experiencing rural Nigeria. I was burning to tell him that the only time I felt unsafe was in the hands of his people, but common sense prevailed and I didn’t. In the end we had to write an statement about our motivations and movement through Nigeria. After the statement things lightened up a bit and our questioner even managed a few jokes. We where finally going to go back to the hotel. Or so we wrongly thought.
Again, no one really knew what to do with us and where to take us. We desperately tried to go back to the hotel. To our great disappointment, we where taken to the back of the building where there was an X ray scanner. We where ordered to unload all our luggage and send it through the scanner. At this stage fatigue really set in. I could barely manage to unload my luggage off the truck, and we had to unpack every thing for a luggage search. To make things even worse the guards wanted to see every little thing, and they wanted explanations for the strange stuff. What did security know about camping and motorbikes? With the amount of explaining we did, obviously very little. When Dominique started unpacking his pannier things looked very bleak, these guys where acting like we where unpacking bombs. One guy looking over his shoulder with a cocked pistol and another a couple meters back with an assault rifle. Very itchy and way over the top!! What happened to the jokes they where making 10 minutes ago?
Morton was my saviour with a hilarious and witty encounter with one off the guards :
Guard : ‘What's that?’
Morton : (taking out a bag with his dirty laundry) ‘A present… For the cleaning lady’
G : ‘Show me’
M : ‘It’s my dirty laundry.’
G : ‘Show me’
Morton then shoves his dirty underwear in the guys face. Absolutely brilliant!!
Patience is a virtue and ours was definitely running thin. We’ve had a few days difficult ridding, and have been on the road since 7am, had a really hard days ride and now all this. It would take hours to unpack and pack every tiny little thing. Our saviour was the big boss, he was waiting in his office for everything to finish, and was desperate to go home. He came down and told everyone to take us back to the hotel. Just like that. All over. Guns away. Jokes and friendly faces back. The boss even apologised and said we have to understand their job is to keep people safe… Blah blah. Funny how quickly things change. Just because the boss wants to go home our threat level is taken down to zero. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining, I was and am very grateful. I was desperate to leave and go back to the hotel.
It didn’t take to long to get back to the hotel and we set up our camp as quickly as humanly possible. Hot shower next. Bliss. And a good meal. We reached the restaurant just as the kitchen was about to close. Luckily the chef agreed to make our meal. Six hours after we arrived at the Sheraton and at 11pm I finally had my steak and ice cold beer. IT WAS SO GOOD!!
(Please do not take this incident as how Nigeria is. It is a completely isolated occurrence. Every day in Nigeria has been fantastic with some of the friendliest and most welcoming people I have met in Africa. The whole day was just so way out and over the top that I really want to remember it and I thought by putting it in the blog I wont forget.)
(Lonely planet says the Nigerian Government ‘lost’ more than 350 BILLION dollars of oil money in the last 40 years, this is four times the amount of foreign aid flowing into the whole of Africa during the same period. It looks like Abuja is the place to find the money.)
Thanks to all this development, accommodation in Abuja is easily the most expensive so far, with the budget options in our guide books running at $50 a night. OUCH. Luckily for us the Sheraton has opened their doors to overlanders. According to the internet forums they should allow us to camp in the back yard off the hotel. For dirt cheap. Unbelievable, and initially we where very sceptical about this, but at the same time we where shattered to bits. We didn’t have the energy to go looking for other options so we headed straight for the Sheraton. To our big relief the gate staff knew all about the camping and let us straight in. This is just what we needed, quick access to a hot shower and a decent meal. While waiting in the parking lot to be shown where to camp our luck suddenly ran out…
Two big guys with big guns approached us asking what we where doing there. They looked like some private security firm and we didn’t give them to much notice, but knowing the warnings about Nigeria, we did try and politely explain that we are camping at the Sheraton. One off the guys looked a bit trigger happy and didn’t quite buy the story, he wanted one of the managers to confirm that they allow campers. The staff send for the manager and in the five minutes it took for him to come all things went downhill significantly. He thoroughly convinced himself that we where up to no good and wanted to take us in for questioning. Questioning where? By the time the manager arrived he was so worked up that even the manager struggled to convince him that we where legit. The manager was keen to show us where to camp but the dude wanted us to come with him straight away. It took some time but we convinced him to allow us to park our bikes at the camping spot and then we would happily go with him, there wasn’t a chance we would leave the bikes unsecured and unattended. At this stage we still thought it was some hotel security outfit, and it wouldn’t take more than 5 minutes. This dude was so worked up that he didn’t even want us to start our bikes to drive them to the camping. He wanted us to push them. Obviously he had no idea how heavy these bikes where and how shattered we where. Another five minutes of talking and numerous orders and counter orders and we where allowed to slowly ride our bikes to the back of the hotel to be shown our camping spot. These guys where definitely unprofessional enough to fit the bill of a local hotel security outfit, but on the other side they where way to aggressive and the manager had zero authority over them.
Our convoy must have been quite a sight for the other Sheraton guests. Three dirty big bikes and even dirtier riders, with a manager ( smiling from ear to ear, and happy to have us) showing us where to go. Flanking us two sourly heavily armed guards and behind us their vehicle. These guys where acting like they where escorting VERY dangerous criminals. To a camping spot! All I could think was WTF?
Our camping spot was nothing more than a dumpy patch off grass far around the back of the hotel, clearly out of sight off any important people, but it was ours and we where happy. We where very keen to unpack and clean up, but the guard was quite persistent that we had to go with him immediately. We had no choice but to oblige. No reason to fight with an assault rifle. We would much rather oblige some idiots power trip than cause trouble. We had to unload everything from the bikes and put it in the back of their truck. AAGGHH!! It wasn’t until we left the hotel grounds with our friendly guards that we realised this isn’t some local hotel security outfit. SHIT. We had no idea where they were taking us. All I could think was ‘Thank God we are three and I’m not alone.’
Our dodgy hotel security outfit turned out to be the Nigerian State Security Services, and they where at the hotel to protect some special VIP’s. Because we looked so alien compared the rest off the hotel guests, all alarm bells went off and we where seen as a threat. They took us straight to their main offices, a huge complex completely walled off from the outside world. We should have been a lot more worried, but we where so tired and they where so unprofessional. No one knew what to do with us, or where we should go, or who was going to question us and everyone’s orders where different. This was a really big test of patience, but again guns where at the ready and we couldn’t do more than mumble our disagreement. While waiting to be questioned we spoke to some secretaries telling our stories and where we came from and how we travelled to Nigeria. You could see that it dawned on the sourly guard that he made a mistake, but it was to late. We where in shark territory, and it was lunch time.
Our questioning session was a disaster. We where under a new guy and he found it even harder to believe we where traveling through Africa by choice. And impossible to comprehend that the Sheraton would allow campers. Our biggest frustration was that he never gave us sufficient time to answer any questions. He was definitely trying to rush through things, but at the same time his inability to listen made it impossible for him to understand what we where doing and why we where at the Sheraton. Half way through an answer he’d leave for 10 minutes to discuss things with his colleagues and then come back with new questions which clearly showed he missed our first answer. Frustration, frustration, frustration. When he found out we stayed in a village he nearly lost it. He gave us a long speech about safety in Nigeria, clearly he had no idea how safe and welcoming we where experiencing rural Nigeria. I was burning to tell him that the only time I felt unsafe was in the hands of his people, but common sense prevailed and I didn’t. In the end we had to write an statement about our motivations and movement through Nigeria. After the statement things lightened up a bit and our questioner even managed a few jokes. We where finally going to go back to the hotel. Or so we wrongly thought.
Again, no one really knew what to do with us and where to take us. We desperately tried to go back to the hotel. To our great disappointment, we where taken to the back of the building where there was an X ray scanner. We where ordered to unload all our luggage and send it through the scanner. At this stage fatigue really set in. I could barely manage to unload my luggage off the truck, and we had to unpack every thing for a luggage search. To make things even worse the guards wanted to see every little thing, and they wanted explanations for the strange stuff. What did security know about camping and motorbikes? With the amount of explaining we did, obviously very little. When Dominique started unpacking his pannier things looked very bleak, these guys where acting like we where unpacking bombs. One guy looking over his shoulder with a cocked pistol and another a couple meters back with an assault rifle. Very itchy and way over the top!! What happened to the jokes they where making 10 minutes ago?
Morton was my saviour with a hilarious and witty encounter with one off the guards :
Guard : ‘What's that?’
Morton : (taking out a bag with his dirty laundry) ‘A present… For the cleaning lady’
G : ‘Show me’
M : ‘It’s my dirty laundry.’
G : ‘Show me’
Morton then shoves his dirty underwear in the guys face. Absolutely brilliant!!
Patience is a virtue and ours was definitely running thin. We’ve had a few days difficult ridding, and have been on the road since 7am, had a really hard days ride and now all this. It would take hours to unpack and pack every tiny little thing. Our saviour was the big boss, he was waiting in his office for everything to finish, and was desperate to go home. He came down and told everyone to take us back to the hotel. Just like that. All over. Guns away. Jokes and friendly faces back. The boss even apologised and said we have to understand their job is to keep people safe… Blah blah. Funny how quickly things change. Just because the boss wants to go home our threat level is taken down to zero. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining, I was and am very grateful. I was desperate to leave and go back to the hotel.
It didn’t take to long to get back to the hotel and we set up our camp as quickly as humanly possible. Hot shower next. Bliss. And a good meal. We reached the restaurant just as the kitchen was about to close. Luckily the chef agreed to make our meal. Six hours after we arrived at the Sheraton and at 11pm I finally had my steak and ice cold beer. IT WAS SO GOOD!!
(Please do not take this incident as how Nigeria is. It is a completely isolated occurrence. Every day in Nigeria has been fantastic with some of the friendliest and most welcoming people I have met in Africa. The whole day was just so way out and over the top that I really want to remember it and I thought by putting it in the blog I wont forget.)
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